


Secret Santa

by bucksexual



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Laflams, M/M, Maria and Eliza are tired of the sexual tension, Mariza, Might add more tags, Multi, Polyamory, Secret Santa, Sex Stores, They watch Heathers at one point, and Bambi, and tangled, its march and im posting a christmas fic, they also sing Moana, what is my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 05:44:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucksexual/pseuds/bucksexual
Summary: John turned red. “Alex -- you know what he’s asking.” He whispered.“I know. I wanna hear him say it.” Alexander said, smirking.“Fine,” Lafayette started, “Do you guys wanna --” Lafayette took in a breath and started over, “Do you guys wanna have sex?” He said, speeding up at the end.OrIt's a Christmas LafLams fic brought to you in March. Don't judge me/





	Secret Santa

  
  
  
  


Alexander loves Christmas. He loves the pretty lights, he loves the amazing peppermint bark that Angelica's husband brings into the office everyday, and he loves that during the season everybody has to be nice to him. Starting on December 1st, his desk is decked out in slow globes, fake snow, and Christmas lights. He's sure everybody else in the office thinks he's crazy, but if anybody said anything about he'd show them the 30 minute long presentation that explains why the holidays are the most important time of the year.

 

It was the 12th of December when Eliza first told him that they the office is doing a Secret Santa. "Alex!" She had chirped as she walked through the front doors bundled in earmuffs, a scarf, and a Patagonia jacket. "Ria and I decided we're going to throw a Secret Santa. Also, we decided to spice things up a little bit, so you have to get something that fits the theme. Which'll be on the back of the paper you pull" Alexander might love Christmas, but the stress of picking out a gift for somebody without knowing what they want made him want to curl up in a whole and die.

 

He would have said no, right then right there, without any hesitation, if it weren't for the pleading look in Eliza's eyes. "Sounds fun." He lied. Curse Eliza and her adorable puppy dog eyes.

 

"Yay!" She clapped her hands together, "So, since there's an odd number of people in the office, I thought that you could choose two people," She sat down on Alexander's desk and held out a Santa hat, "Go on, It won't bite."

 

Alexander rolled his eyes. "I know, Liza. I'm not afraid of a Santa hat." He stuck his hand in it, and pulled the last two names in the hat. He sat them down next to his computer without looking at them. "You came to me last? I'm hurt Eliza. I really am." He put a hand to his heart for extra effect.

 

Eliza laughed. "Well, good luck. I still gotta go tell two other people about this."

 

Alexander raised an eyebrow. "But I pulled the la-"

 

"Ha ha, BYE ALEXANDER!" She yelled, before running off towards the storage rooms. Alexander sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He picked up the first slip of paper. It was folded into a little swan, and Alexander assumed Maria had done that, since she started practicing origami as a stress reliever. At first he couldn't read the name because it was written in fancy cursive, but after a moment of adjusting to the scrawl he was able to make out the name.  _ Lafayette. _ Alexander groaned. Great, he thought, I should've never agreed to this. Now not only do I have to buy a random person a present, but I have to buy a present for one of the people I've got a freaking crush on.

He turned the slip over to find the theme.  _ Something sexual ;) _ . Alexander inhaled deeply. Welp, my life is over, he thought, I haven't even read the second name yet.  He picked up the second piece of paper. He almost didn't want to unfold it. He sighed, nothing could be worse than getting something sexual for Lafayette. He read the name.  _ John L. _

"Fuck my life." He said, louder than he needed to.

Samuel Seabury poked his head out of his cubicle to look at Alexander. "Are you okay, Mr.Hamilton?"

Alexander sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine Seabury. Get back to work."

Samuel nodded and went back to his cubicle. Alexander closed his eyes and put his head in between his hands. He didn't even bother to look at the theme for John's present.

 

****

 

"How'd it go?" Maria asked, as she jumped on the break room couch, her head landing in Eliza's lap.

 

Eliza smiled. She brought her hand down to her girlfriends recently cut hair and let out a hum. "It went fine. All three of them agreed to do it, and none of them were suspicious at all."

 

Maria nodded. "That's good. I finished giving the rest of the office theirs, but that isn't as important as yours." She yawned and tucked her head into Eliza's head more. 

 

"Yeah, but if you didn't do it then we would've had to come up with another story to get those idiots to fuck." Maria slapped Eliza lightly.

 

"Liza!" Her words were slightly muffled by the fabric of Eliza's skirt, "You can't say things like that at work." She sat up and moved her head to Eliza's shoulder.

 

"You've never had a private meeting with Washington, the man swears more than Alex."

 

Maria laughed. "Impossible."

 

"You'd be surprised."

 

"Hmm." Maria turned her attention to the TV that was on in front of them.

Eliza sighed. "You're amazing."

 

Maria smiled. "So are you." She said, hoping that Eliza couldn't see her face going red.

 

"We should probably get back to work." Eliza said, sitting up straighter as she prepared to leave.

 

"But America's Next Top Model is on. Eliza you can't make me leave when ANTM is on!" Maria said in a childish voice.

 

"Let's go," Eliza repeated, when Maria didn't move she raised the stakes, "Let's go or else no kisses tonight." She got up and walked to the door, she didn't leave, but instead waited for Maria.

 

The girl on the couch groaned and hauled herself up. "Fine. But only because I need my daily goodnight kiss."

 

Eliza rolled her eyes. "Let's go loser." She said, and Maria speed-walked to the door.

 

"I love you." Maria said.

 

Eliza smiled and kissed the other girl on the cheek. "Love you, too."

 

John hated his life. Sure there some parts could be pretty okay, but when you have to buy 'something a lover would buy' for the two guys you like, things can get pretty frustrating. Like right now, for instance. John is currently standing in the middle of Target, trying to figure out what the heck a lover would get somebody, and becoming increasingly anxious because the store was filling up  really fast and John isn't a people person. He sighed and pulled out his phone. When in doubt, turn to Google, he thought as he typed into the search bar. He pressed the first link to come up.  _ 14 Romantic Gifts for a Significant Other.  _ He scrolled through for a little bit before deciding on two gifts that sounded reasonable.

 

For Alexander he was getting three tickets to see Christmas With the Kranks when they played in a theater for their Christmas special. He'd have to order the tickets later. He also decided on buying Alexander a bunch of candy, because who doesn't love candy. For Lafayette he was getting a guitar pick and a phone projector. He didn't know if he theme, but he was too lazy to care. Plus Google told him to buy it. He made it out of the store three minutes after getting Lafayette and Alexander's gifts, he sprinted down the aisles, and then he sped through self check out. He hated crowds. When he got back to his car, he fell into the routine of playing the top 40's and laughing at how dumb the songs were. He did that for about 15 minutes before he got to his house and had to wrap the stupid gifts he got. Fuck Secret Santa, he thought.

He had plenty of wrapping paper at home. Wrapping paper was one of  those things that he stocked up on as soon as Christmas was over. Some people thought he was dumb for buying so much, but he was going to use it for the rest of his life, plus once Christmas ended, wrapping paper was super cheap. John might buy a lot of wrapping paper, but he can’t wrap a present for the life of him. After what felt like hours of trying, he gave up and decided he would call Peggy to help him later.

 

He got Alexander’s tickets surprisingly cheap. He made sure to get three, one for Alexander, one for Eliza (who he always invited everywhere), and one for the girlfriend he was no doubt hiding. John may want to fuck Alexander, but the man is a lady magnet. There’s no way he’s single. After about an hour of watching Stranger Things, he decided he might as well call Peggy to get the wrapping over with.

 

“Hey, Peg.” He said, once she arrived at his house.

 

“Johnny, sup?”

 

“Nothing much, just some presents that need to be wrapped.”

 

“Well, you’re lucky you called the Christmas present queen to help you.” She said, before walking into John’s living room.

 

She eyed the presents. “Dang, John. Looks like you’ve bought something for a boyfriend.”

 

John turned red. “N-No!” He said, a little to loudly. “It’s for the Secret Santa. The theme for my two people was ‘something for a lover’.”

 

Peggy raised an eyebrow, but she didn’t question him any further. “Remind me again where your gigantic stash of wrapping paper is?” She asked, and John was thankful she changed the subject so quickly.

 

“Right this way, ma’am.” He did a small bow and gestured to the living room closet.

 

Peggy laughed. “Of course,” she said, “How could I forget. I do have to wrap every single fucking present you ever buy.” She glared at him.

 

John rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Just wrap them already.”

 

Peggy clucked her tongue before journeying into the closet. “I swear I’ll teach you how to wrap one of these days.”

 

“Good luck with that.” John replied.

  
  
  
  


“Lafa!” Eliza said, as she walked into Lafayette’s office. The air around them was slightly dingy die to the fact Lafayette’s office was next to the storage rooms. There were always cardboard boxes that somehow managed to end up next to his door, no matter how many post-its he left. He had a feeling it was Charles Lee, but if he told anybody that John and Alexander would find out and Lee would end up in a body cast.

 

“Bonne après-midi, Eliza.” He said. He didn’t look up from his computer. He had to finish designing the company website’s Christmas homepage before the day ended.

 

“Maria and I are doing a Secret Santa.” She said, walking away from the doorframe and into his office.

 

“Eliza, mon amie, you know I hate Secret Santas.” Lafayette said, spinning his chair around to face her.

 

“I knew you’d say that. But before you make up your mind, we’re doing it so that you John and Alex will fall in love.”

 

Lafayette groaned. “ _ Bordel de merde non! _ ” He cursed. “Why would I let you do that? The last time you tried to get us together John wouldn’t talk to me for a week.”

 

Eliza rolled her eyes. “Okay, yeah that happened. But only because there were a few miscommunications, we’re sure it’ll work this time.”

 

“No.”

 

“Please.”

 

“I said NO.”

 

“ _ Please. _ ” Lafayette sighed and looked up at Eliza. She was doing those stupid puppy dog eyes again.

 

“Bein,” he said, “What do I need to do?”

 

Eliza’s face lit up. “I need you to get John and Alex really comfortable pajamas.” Lafayette raised an eyebrow. “Don’t question it. Also I need you to invite them to your house for a slumber party.”

 

Lafayette rolled his eyes. “We aren’t little girls, Liza. We don’t need a sleepover.”

 

“Sure,” Eliza said, “Make the sleepover good.” She kissed Lafayette on the cheek and walked to the door. “The sleepover needs to start this Friday night, and end on Tuesday. I planned it so that you guys would have a three day weekend.”

“Wow, you put a lot of work into this.” Lafayette said.

 

Eliza smiled. “Thanks for noticing. Ria’s next project is planning your wedding.” 

Lafayette groaned. “Bye, Laf.” She said, before walking out the door.

  
  
  
  


From:  _ A.Ham _ To:  _ liza <3 _

_ ELIZA HELP MY THEME FOR SECRET SANTA IS SUMTHIN SEXUAL _

 

From:  _ liza <3 _ To:  _ A.Ham _

_ alex, just go to a sex store and pick out whatever is cheapest _

 

From:  _ A.Ham _ To:  _ liza <3 _

_ It’s noT THAT SIMPLE LIZAAA _

 

From:  _ liza _ <3 To:  _ A.Ham _

_ get person #1 some lingerie and get person #2 a dildo or something jfc _

 

From:  _ A.Ham _ To:  _ liza <3 _

_ Eliza I don’t like sex shops _

 

From:  _ A.Ham _ To:  _ liza <3 _

_ Eliza help _

 

From:  _ A.Ham _ To:  _ liza <3 _

_ Eliza  _

 

From:  _ liza _ <3 To:  _ A.Ham _

_ bye alexander _

 

From:  _ A.Ham _ To:  _ liza <3 _

_ eliZA NO _

 

_ Read 3:42 _

 

Alexander groaned and put his phone into his back pocket. He stood in the middle of a shopping outlet, faces pacing him at seemingly impossible speeds. The sex shop,  _ Cindie’s  _ was the next store down. He didn’t understand why they put that kind of store out in public. If it were up to him, they’d be on those weird outskirts of town that nobody ever goes to unless there leaving town or really high.

 

He took in a deep breath and walked into the store. He was expecting harsh neon lights and naked women dancing on poles, but instead the store was dimly lit with yellow white fairy lights. Other than the very phallic objects, the store didn’t seem very intimidating. The only worker there was at the register. He was the only customer in the store, which he guessed he was grateful for. He didn’t want to spend too much time inside the store, not wanting to risk being seen through the windows.

 

He listened to Eliza’s instructions and got John a dildo. He got the first one that he saw and would prefer not to describe it. He walked to the lingerie section. What size is Lafayette, he wondered. He’s pretty muscular. He sighed and picked up a medium. He hoped he got the size right, but he was more focused on getting out of thar store.

 

He took his items to the cashier, and after several awkward fails at getting the machine to read his card, he paid in cash and left as soon as he could. Once he got outside, he decided he deserved a reward for making it through such a traumatic experience. He walked into the frozen yogurt place across the way, and he didn’t care that he was a 20 year old man eating Pinkberry alone because dammit it that’s some nice froyo.

  
  
  
  


The next day Eliza wasn’t surprised to see most people with a present on their desk. The Secret Santa technically didn’t happen until Friday, but most people in her office were overachievers. Alexander had been the person she was most worried about. She’ll admit, his theme was a little risky, but out of the three men, he was the one who’d be able to buy it with ease.

 

“Alexander, how’d it go?” She asked, sliding into his cubicle.

 

Alexander looked up at her slowly. “I’m never going into a sex store ever again. I should’ve just ordered it online.” He said.

 

Eliza rolled her eyes. “Come on, Alex. It couldn’t have been that bad.”

 

“Eliza I was the only one there! It was me and one worker. It was the most awkward thing I’ve done in my life.”

 

“Well, I’m sure if you’d went on Thursday their would’ve been more people.”   
  


“How would you know that.” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I’ve been to my fair share of sex stores. Maria and I li-”

 

“Oh my god, Liza!” He yelled and covered his ears. “I don’t need to know these kinds of things.”

 

“Your fault for asking.” Eliza sing-songed before she left Alexander’s cubicle.

 

Alexander sighed. He moved the gifts under the table. He knew it was risky to bring them to work, but he couldn’t stand to see them in his house. He had to make it three days knowing that he had a fucking dildo underneath his desk. He didn’t know if he was going to be able to make it. He needed a way to distract himself. He decided to go find John, might as well try to figure out whether or not John would have any use of his gift.

 

“How’s your libido?” Alexander asked when he got to John’s desk.

 

John’s eyebrows shot up. “What?!” He asked, incredulous.

 

Alexander’s eyes widened. “Oh shit!” He brought a hand to his mouth. “I’m sorry -- I didn’t -- fuck.”

 

John smiled. “No, you’re fine. Glad you care. Do you really want an answer?”

 

Alexander smiled sheepishly. “Uh, yeah I guess.”

 

John blushed. “Oh. I didn’t expect that.” He looked down for a second. “Well, it’s pretty insistent.” John’s entire face was red.

 

“Oh -- okay. T-thanks? I’m just gonna go now.” He said, awkwardly.

 

“Oh -- well, bye I guess.” John looked up and waved.

 

Alexander gave a small smile before rushing out of John’s office. “ELIZAAAAA!!” He yelled out as soon as he got out of earshot (or maybe a little bit before he got out of earshot).

 

“She’s in the conference room. No she’s not in a conference. Yes she’s probably making out with Reynolds.” It was Thomas Jefferson who answered him.

 

“Oh. Thanks, Jefferson.” He said, already heading to the conference room.

 

“Bye, Hamilton.”

 

When Hamilton got to the conference room, Eliza was indeed making out with Maria.

 

“Eliza I messed up!”

 

He heard more than saw Maria groan. “Was your mistake interrupting us? Because trust me, you’re gonna want to refrain from doing that again.”

 

“No. Well, probably yeah, but something else, too.” He waited for Eliza and Maria to untangle from each other.

 

“What did you do?” Eliza asked.

 

“I wanted know if John would be able to use my gift, which was the dildo by the way, and so I went to his office and asked him how his libido was. Now I’m embarrassed and to afraid to talk to him what do I do?”

 

Eliza and Maria looked at each other before looking back to Hamilton. They broke out into laughter. “You -- have -- got -- to be kidding me.” Maria said between laughs. “John’s gonna call me tonight and over analyze so much. It’s gonna be hilarious.

 

Eliza sighed. “Well Alexander, there’s really nothing you can do now. I mean, you’ll be embarrassed but you’re not going to die.”

 

“No, I’m not going to die. You wanna know why, cause I’m already did. As soon as I asked that question, the floor opened up and I fell into my grave.”

 

“Just go Alexander.”

 

“Fine, don’t let George catch you making out.”

 

He saw Maria roll her eyes, but didn’t stick around to see them back at it.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Wednesday and Thursday passed relatively fast for Lafayette. He didn’t even notice how quickly the week went by until he woke up Friday morning and had to clean his entire house for the sleepover. He might love parties, but he’s pretty ass at planning them. He decided they’d watch a movie and then sleep, maybe order some pizza. Alexander would probably come up with something better once he got there

 

When he got to work, everybody had a gift. It was surprisingly festive. He didn’t know how Eliza convinced Washington to allow it. Normally he was against anything that “suppressed people’s religion or beliefs”. Last year James had tried to do one, back when he was still trying to prove to Maria he could be a good husband. Washington had said that it was a tradition that belonged to a religion not everybody in the office celebrates, so we can’t do it. Although it was probably just Washington getting spite at James for how he treated Maria.

 

He was on his way to his office when Eliza cut his path off. “Did you do everything?”

 

Lafayette sighed. “Yes, Eliza, I did everything. Now I have things to do if I don’t want to have work over the weekend.”

 

“Okay. Just making sure,” Her eyes went to behind Lafayette, “Alexander wait!” She turned back to Lafayette, “Please don’t forget to invite them.”

 

Lafayette sighed and made his way to his office. Eliza had sent out an email saying that everybody would meet in the center of the office at 1:30 to exchange gifts. When you gave the person your gift you had to say the theme and why you think your gift goes with the theme. Lafayette thought it was stupid. He thought all Secret Santa’s were stupid but this one sucked, and now he had to wait 3 hours until he got his gifts. Stupid.

 

He had the two sets of pajamas sitting next to his computer, he had put them in leftover gift bags from past birthdays. Wrapping wasn’t part of the gift that mattered in Lafayette’s opinion. If you could do something in two minutes, why would you do it in 10, even if it did look really pretty. Lafayette groaned and checked his email. He hated surprises. Especially when you knew you were getting surprises, it’s like the surprise is a time bomb, and when it explodes all you're left with is disappointment.

 

_ Inbox [1] _

 

_ From:  _ [ _ johnlaurens.32@gmail.com _ ](mailto:johnlaurens.32@gmail.com)

_ Subject: im really bored and alex wont email me back _

_ Message: hi the subject says it all _

 

_ To:  _ [ _ johnlaurens.32@gmail.com _ ](mailto:johnlaurens.32@gmail.com)

_ Subject: Your Sad Relationship With Alexander _

_ Message: I’m bored too. Who’d you get for the Secret Santa? _

 

_ From:  _ [ _ johnlaurens.32@gmail.com _ ](mailto:johnlaurens.32@gmail.com)

_ Subject: ur curious ass thats gonna get killed by a cat _

_ Message: IF I TELL U ITS NOT A SECRET SANTA _

 

_ To:  _ [ _ johnlaurens.32@gmail.com _ ](mailto:johnlaurens.32@gmail.com)

_ Subject: My Amazing Ass That Satisfaction Brought Back _

_ Message: Screw you and your morals _

 

_ From:  _ [ _ johnlaurens.32@gmail.com _ ](mailto:johnlaurens.32@gmail.com)

_ Subject: eww work is gross _

_ Message: ugh washington gave me papers and now ive gotta go get em signed bye bitch _

 

_ To:  _ [ _ johnlaurens.32@gmail.com _ ](mailto:johnlaurens.32@gmail.com)

_ Subject: Work Being Unpleasant _

_ Message: Have fun ;) _

  
  


_ (i have no regrets about that wink) _

  
  


Lafayette brought a hand to his face. One hour had passed. He needed something to do. Maybe Alexander will have work for me, he thought. Or maybe Alexander can be a salty shit and make me laugh.

 

“Bonjour, Alexander.” He said.

 

“Lafayette. My dude. My man. My buddy. How’s life?”

 

“It’s pretty boring,” Lafayette said, “I had an amazing email conversation with John, and he had to leave so now I’m here. I’m bored.”

 

Alexander nodded. “Yes, well your life doesn’t sound very interesting.”

 

Lafayette rolled his eyes. “Really know how to charm a man, Hamilton.”

 

Alexander smirked. “Shut up.”

 

“Hey Alex, I need you to sign these papers.” John walked into Alexander’s cubicle. He handed Alexander the papers without even looking up. Alexander took a pen and quickly signed his name, giving the papers back to John. “Oh Lafayette, you too.”

 

Lafayette signed without taking the paper. “Thanks for acknowledging  my existence.” He said, leaning against Alexander’s desk. 

 

“I know, I’m a lot better than Alex,” He glared at the other man, “He doesn’t even respond to his email.”

 

Alexander rolled his eyes. “It was one time, don’t make such a big deal about it.”

 

John gasped. “It was this morning, and I sent  _ several _ emails.”

 

Lafayette glanced at the clock on Alexander’s computer. They had an hour until the Secret Santa. He could figure out something to work on for an hour. “Well, I gotta go guys. Duty calls,” He started to make his way out of the room, “And don’t make a duty joke.”

 

After he left he definitely heard snickering.

  
  
  


Alexander made his way to the center of the office. He had the presents in his hands, and he was  nervous as hell. What did he say when he handed the gifts off. ‘Hey this is lingerie don’t open it in front of a crowd.’ ‘Hey the theme was sexual so I got you a dildo have fun!’ Alexander cringed at himself.

 

He saw John as soon as he got there (I mean he was sorta hard to miss in his ugly Christmas sweater). “Everybody, you can exchange gifts as soon as you like.” Maria said from the middle of the room.

 

Alexander made his way to John. “Hey, John. So you were my first person. Oh -- and my theme is was something-sexual-so-please-don’t-be-awkward-about-it-it’s-a-dildo-oh-my-god!” He sped up at the end and hid his face.

 

John’s face turned red. “Oh, that’s why you asked the libido question.”

 

Alexander nodded. “Well, you were my first person, too,” John said, “My theme was something a lover would get, so  I got you these,” John handed him the gift, “You should probably just open it at home. We don’t want to make a mess everywhere.”

 

Alexander nodded right when he caught sight of Lafayette. “Oh! There’s my other person, gotta go.”

 

“Laf’s my other person, too!” John said.

 

Alexander raised an eyebrow but brushed off his confusion as he made his way to Lafayette. “Lafayette, here’s your gift. The theme was something sexual so it’s lingerie don’t open it now.”

 

Lafayette laughed. “Thanks for being blunt. Here’s your gift.” He handed them both a bag. “Also Eliza told me you have to come over to my house for a sleepover. I know, I told her we weren’t three year old girls but she didn’t listen.”

 

“Cool, that sounds fun. When?” John asked.

 

“My place as soon as work ends.” Alexander nodded.

 

“Are we just going to ignore that we all got each other as Secret Santa’s.”

 

“Oh yeah Eliza had a secret motive 100%.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


When John got to Lafayette’s house he was probably way more scared than he needed to be. Lafayette had a pretty modern home. Big glass windows, a white and gray color scheme, and huge rooms. It was a major upgrade from John’s small apartment. He had rung the doorbell and Lafayette answered almost immediately. He was wearing a hoodie and joggers and John’s heart almost melted.

 

“John!” Lafayette smiled.

 

“That’s my name.” John said.

 

“Come on, Alexander is in the den.”

 

“Cool. I brought your present, I didn’t know if you wanted me to wear it or --”

 

“Oh, yeah! Alexander’s wearing his, I didn’t buy one for myself, but yours would probably be way more comfortable than jeans.”

 

John looked down at his skinny jeans. “Right. Well, I’ll go change.”

 

Lafayette smiled. “Alright, bathroom’s third door on the hall.”

 

John smiled and made his way to the bathroom. When he got there he rummaged through the tissue paper in the bag until his hand landed on something fuzzy. He pulled the pajamas out and jumped a little when he heard a hard band on the floor. He looked down and turned completely red when he saw the black dildo Alexander had gotten him laying on the floor. He hadn’t meant to bring it, What if Lafayette saw? He would think John planned to  _ use _ it.

 

He groaned and decided he’d put it back in the bag and cover it with his ugly sweater. Hopefully Lafayette wouldn’t go through his bag. The pajamas seemed modest enough. A long sleeved shirt that would probably end up feeling like a sweater, and pants that --  _ oh my god. _ The pants looked as if they had been hacked up buy a chainsaw, they would probably only cover three inches of his thigh, his junk would be all over the place, this was not going to be a good time.

 

John changed quickly, and stuffed his clothes in the gift bag. He glanced at himself in the mirror.  _ Oh god _ , he thought.  _ This is going to be fun _ . He rolled his eyes as he walked out of the door. He tried to remember the way back to the den, and followed the sound once he got lost. 

 

He walked into the den in the middle of a singing solo being performed by Alexander (who’s pajamas actually had pants). 

 

“But ATLAST I see the liGHT.” He watched as Alexander do some interpretive dance moves. His eyes were squeezed tight and he stood on top of Lafayette’s huge couch. John smiled. Alexander looked pretty cute.

 

“John! Oh my god, are those the pants the pajamas came with?” Lafayette said once he spotted John.

 

John blushed. “Oh -- um -- yeah? You didn’t know?”

 

Lafayette shook his head. “No! The only thing visible in the package was the shirt. I’m sorry -- oh god -- you can put your jeans back on.”

 

John looked down. “Oh, okay. I’ll just go back to the bathroom then.”

 

“That is, if you want to change.” Alexander stopped his singing to look up at John.

 

“What?” John snapped his head up.

 

“If you want to change,” Alexander maintained eye contact with John. “You don’t have to. You look  _ really  _ good.”

 

John blushed. “Wh -- bu -- I --  _ Alex.” _ He stammered.

 

“I agree, you do look really good.” Lafayette made his way to John. “Your beautiful. Shorts or not.” He took John’s hands.

 

John blushed harder and glared at the floor. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. “Look, Laf. We made him speechless.” Alexander laughed.

 

“ ‘M not speechless.” John said, eyes not leaving the ground. “Can we watch a movie or something.” John hoped Alexander and Lafayette would get the vibe to change the subject.

 

“Way ahead of you. I made a pillow fort as soon as I go here.” Alexander said, before grabbing John’s hands from Lafayette, “Come on, I’ll show you the spot that I made for you. Lafayette tried to steal it, but don’t worry, it’s all yours.”

 

“It’s pretty damn comfy, too. I may have been defeated in my attempts to get your spot, but I got to try it at least,” Lafayette walked closer to John. “It’s so fucking comfy.”

 

John smiled, grateful that they moved on from the topic of  _ him.  _ “I’m flattered, really. But what movie are we watching?”

 

Lafayette smiled. “Heathers. You and Alex don’t get a say, Heathers is the best show in the entire world.”

 

John grinned. “Agreed. Winona Ryder is amazing.”

 

Alexander groaned. “Nerds.” He stuck his tongue out before covering himself in blankets.

 

John rolled his eyes and sat in the spot Alex had made for him. He sighed. Lafayette was right, it was comfy. Lafayette jumped on the couch a good few feet away from them, he grabbed the remote and turned on Heathers. 

 

For a few moments John was sucked into the mesmerizing ponytail of Heather Chandler, but quickly remembered that he was wearing booty shorts in front of the two guys he liked. He quickly tried to grab a blanket and cover up.

 

“You okay John? You know, if you’re cold, you can get off of the hardwood floor and sit on the couch with me. I don’t bite.”

 

John blushed. He didn’t want to seem rude for turning down Lafayette’s offer, but Lafayette was the kind of person who started spooning you if you get to close. Could he really handle that? “Okay.” He let his niceness get the best of him as he crawled up on the couch.

 

John survived precisely three minutes before Lafayette threw an arm around him. At first he got tense, but realized that was kind of suspicious. He relaxed and didn’t say anything when Lafayette pulled him closer.

 

“I feel left out.”  Alexander stood up in the middle of the room, blocking the television.

 

John turned red. “Oh -- well -- I --it was just cold, I don’t --”

 

He was cut off by Alexander jumping on the other side of Lafayette. “Spoon me.” HE said.

 

Lafayette took one arm off of John. “Bossy.” He said but he pulled Alexander into his chest anyway.

 

Alexander practically purred when Lafayette ran fingers through his hair. John squished his head into Lafayette’s chest in an attempted to hide his blush, but once he realized what he had done he flushed even more.

 

“Is this a normal thing for you guys?” Alexander asked, his voice was smaller than usual, and John almost wanted to remove his head to see what the other man looked like.

 

Lafayette let out a laugh. “I mean, I do cuddle with a lot of people, but I’m freaking out right now.”

 

“Why?” John asked, his voice muffled by Lafayette’s hoodie.

 

“I’m gonna try to be cool and not become a flustered mess, but I kind of like you two? Like, as more than friends.” Lafayette said, and John could hear a slight embarrassment in his voice.

 

“Oh.  _ Oh. O h.” _ John shot up. “Y -- You mean? Like, you like like us?”

 

Lafayette smiled. “Yes. I like like you.”

 

John looked up to Alexander. “D -- Do you?” He trailed off, leaving the question in the air.

 

Alexander gulped and nodded. “Yes. I -- uh -- I do.”

 

“I -- um -- I like you guys, too.” John said, tucking a stray hair behind his ear.

 

“So are going to like, make out now?” Alexander asked. Normally, this would have ruined the moment, but John watched as Alex and Lafayette made eye contact, he realized this was only fueling it.

 

Alexander leaned forward and crashed his lips into Lafayette’s. John thought he could hear teeth clashing, but it was muffled by their mouths. The kiss looked rough, Alexander had his hands threaded through Lafayette’s hair, and Lafayette had a firm grip on Alexander’s neck. The Frenchman groaned when Alexander slightly tugged his hair. They pulled apart and had the most intense eye sex John had ever seen.

 

“Can I have a turn?” John asked in a small voice.

 

Alexander smiled. “Of course, dummy.”

 

Alexander practically jumped on John. It definitely felt softer than Alex’s and Laf’s looked, but both seemed equally nice. Alexander’s lips moved slightly, and John realized he’d never really kissed anybody before. He tried to kiss back, he moved his mouth in opposition to Alex’s. It seemed to work. Alexander was obviously satisfied, and John thought it felt nice. He didn’t know how long kisses were supposed to last, so he just pulled away when he ran out of air.

 

“Is that how you do it?” He whispered, although he was sure Lafayette could hear him anyway.

 

Alexander smiled. “Yep. You did great.”

 

John made eye contact with Lafayette from the side of Alexander’s head. “Alex, it’s me now.”

 

Alexander moved over and Lafayette pulled John back to his chest. He looked into John’s eyes for a moment before looking at his lips. He grabbed the collar of John’s shirt and slowly pulled him in. When their lips connected it was like heaven. Lafayette knew how to kiss. He lips pushed against John’s slightly before he pried them open with his tongue. John had heard the term ‘fight for dominance’ but never really knew what it meant. 

 

Lafayette plunged his tongue into John’s mouth without struggle. John felt every nook and cranny of his mouth being explored. He was a sensation he could get used to. He felt Lafayette tighten his grip on the collar as he got more desperate. John groaned into the kiss and just as Lafayette began to pull John closer, Alexander interrupted.

 

“Alright, alright. Break it up.” He said, making referee motions with his hands.

 

John turned pink when he saw the trail of saliva connecting them. “S -- sorry.” He said, as he wiped the spit from his mouth.

 

“Don’t be sorry, John. That was great.” Lafayette smiled.

 

John nodded. “Can we go back to cuddling?”

 

Alexander laughed. “Of course.”

 

They went back to the position they were in before, and John tuned the movie out while he probably over analyzed the situation. After about 20 minutes of John freaking himself out about nothing, Lafayette put a hand on his shoulder and started rubbing. 

 

John snapped his eyes up. “You were thinking to loud. Relax.” Lafayette said, his eyes not moving from the TV.

 

John sighed and melted into Lafayette’s touch. He stuck an open palm out to Alexander, who muttered something about John being a ‘cheesy romantic shit’ but took his hand all the same.

 

John focused on the TV again, relaxing into the couch. Maybe this night wouldn’t be so bad after all, he thought as he watched J.D drink a slushie in a 7/11.

  
  
  
  


The movie ended way too quickly in Lafayette’s taste. He knew that he’d have to stop cuddling Alexander and John to either change the movie or go to sleep, and neither of those seemed as good as spooning the two men. 

 

“Don’t move.” John said, tiredness obvious in his voice. 

 

Lafayette laughed. “ ‘Mkay.” He said, and stayed basically still except for moving his head to lean on Alexander.

 

“Don’t wanna sleep, but I don’t wanna move.” Alexander groaned.

 

“We can watch another movie?” Lafayette suggested.

 

“I wanna watch Bambi. I like Bambi.” John said, before he cuddled his head into Lafayette’s chest.

 

“Bambi’s pretty great.” Lafayette said, then he rented it and pressed play.

 

Bambi ended in what felt like minutes.

 

“Bambi is a good movie.” John said, he untucked his head from Lafayette.

 

“Yeah. What do you wanna do now?”

 

John sighed. “We could sleep.”

 

Alexander gasped. “Sleep? This early? I’m ashamed in you John.” He shook his head.

 

“I’m just bored. There’s nothing to do.” John said, he opened his arms and sprawled on Lafayette.

 

“DANCE PARTY!” Alexander yelled before he stood up and started singing  _ See The Light _ again.

 

Lafayette smiled when John’s face lit up. “Yay!” He said, and he stood up to join Alexander.

 

Lafayette was the only one left on the couch. “Am I required to join?” He asked, groaning.

 

“Lafa! How dare you imply that you’re tired!” Alexander yelled. He jumped up and grabbed at Lafayette.

 

“Fine, fine. I’ll have a dance party with you.” Lafayette said as he stood up.

 

“Thank you.” Alexander said.

 

Alexander played some music, a Disney song from Moana, and he and John started to make complete fools of themselves dancing. Lafayette snorted when the beat dropped and Alexander jumped onto John’s back.

 

“And NO ONE knOOWS how far I’ll goOO!” Alexander screeched.

 

“Beautiful voice. I don’t know how you aren’t on Broadway.” Lafayette said.

 

John started laughing, and didn’t seem to be able to stop. He eventually fell over, bringing Alexander with him. They both stayed on the floor, Alexander still screeching the lyrics while John laughed to the beat.

 

Lafayette laughed. “I guess I have to get on the floor too?” He said.

 

Alexander stopped his screaming to glare at Lafayette. “Of course you do Laf.” He said.

 

“Okay.” Lafayette’s voice went up at the end. He did a nose dive to the floor and landed in the middle of John and Alex. He made eye contact with Alex and then John. “Do we have a plan for what we’re going to do on the floor?”

 

“We’re gonna lie on the floor.” John said.

 

“Anything else?” Lafayette asked.

 

John shook his head. “How about we make out on the floor?” Lafayette asked.

 

Alexander nodded eagerly. “We can make out on the floor!”

 

John laughed. “Eager much?”

 

Alexander rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” He said, before leaning into John’s lips.

 

John sighed and put his hands on Alexander’s chest. He pulled away for a second, “I like kissing.” He said before leaning back into Alexander.

 

Lafayette gave them about two minute’s of kissing before he intervened. “I get that this is probably, like, a moment, but I feel really awkward laying here without somebody to kiss.

 

John removed himself from Alexander. “Oh. Sorry.”

 

Lafayette rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, John. Just get over here.”

 

John smiled and crawled towards Lafayette. “Right -- sorry.” He added an apology to irk Lafayette.

 

The Frenchman groaned before connecting his lips with John. Lafayette cupped John’s face in his hands, rubbing his thumb on John’s cheek. Lafayette bit John’s bottom lip, earning a small groan from the other boy. John pushed himself up against Lafayette, his chest expanding under Lafayette’s shoulders.

 

John moved his hands to Lafayette’s shirt, his hands bundling in the fabric. Lafayette could vaguely hear Alexander saying “ _ Hooooottt. _ ” He could tell Alexander was watching them, and his back flushed at the thought of somebody else watching him kiss, but he surprisingly didn’t care as long as it was Alexander.

 

Lafayette moved his hands up John’s pajama shirt. He ran his fingers along John’s slightly noticeable abs. He smirked when John shivered underneath him. Lafayette pushed closer to John, if that was possible. John moaned lightly, and Lafayette became determined to hear that sound again. He started to take off John’s shirt, but stopped himself when he realized that John (or Alexander) might not want to go that far.

 

He pulled off of John, ignoring the whimper that he heard. “Do you guys wanna -- ?” Lafayette trailed off.

 

“Do we wanna what?” Alexander asked, his back on the floor next to John.

 

John turned red. “Alex -- you  _ know _ what he’s asking.” He whispered.

 

“I know. I wanna hear him say it.” Alexander said, smirking.

 

“Fine,” Lafayette started, “Do you guys wanna --” Lafayette took in a breath and started over, “Do you guys wanna have sex?” He said, speeding up at the end.

 

Alexander grinned. “I’d love, too.”

 

Lafayette looked to John. “I -- uh -- yeah. Yeah I’d like to, that would be nice.” John stammered.

 

Alexander smiled. “That’s the spirit, John.” He said, “Of course, not wanting to do it would also be the spirit. Don’t feel pressure to do things you don’t want to.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Guys, if you want me to write the smut part, comment. I'm just tired right now, but I'll probably add it later, even if nobody requests.
> 
> Kudos are appreciated
> 
> ALSO THIS IS UNRELATED BUT IM GONNA SEE LOVE, SIMON IN THREE HOURS ACK IM EXCITED


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